We are what we feel. If you feel overweight, unattractive or ill-equipped in some way, take a look at the way you dress, the way you carry yourself, what you do (or don’t do), and the relationships you have. Notice that what you are feeling shows itself in the clothes you choose, the opportunities you may be avoiding, and what you’re willing to tolerate in a coworker, friend or partner.
Where did these feelings come from and are they worth taking a look at?
So often we have underlying feelings that permeate all we do, and while we may think these feelings are something we’re keeping to ourselves, it’s what’s driving just about everything you think, say and do. I remember reading the brilliant words of Neale Donald Walsh in Conversations With God, saying that what you’re creating isn’t coming from the thoughts you think, but by the “sponsoring thought,” or the thought behind the thought. That hit me like a lightening bolt. For example, you may think: “I want a loving relationship.” But take a look at the sponsoring thought. Is it because you’re ready and you’re excited about sharing your love with someone you can grow with, learn from and share your “completeness” with? Or is it that you’re ready for a relationship because you’re thinking that another person will take away your pain or somehow complete you. Two very different sponsoring thoughts.
Here’s another example. Maybe you’re ready to finally get the excess weight off. Take a look at the “thought behind the thought.” Is it because you’re excited about the energy you’ll have, the confidence and health you may regain, or the new opportunities you’ll be open to once you feel better? Or is there a thought somewhere buried that you’re not meant to feel great and that weight and another attempt to change your habits will only lead to frustration and pain?
It’s important to find out what’s behind those thoughts because what you’re feeling is running the show and is the energy you’re sending out to others. If you don’t really believe you can have that loving relationship, great body, financial abundance, etc. there will be a lack of congruency and it’ll show itself in you not receiving what it is you want… and that’s okay too. Sometimes, finding out those powerful sponsoring thoughts reveal a lot that we need to work through.
Let’s go back to our weight loss example. Maybe you discover that while you’re saying you’re ready to get the weight off, you realize that extra weight is serving a purpose. Maybe it’s acting as a layer of protection, keeping you in a holding pattern so you don’t have to look at, deal with or face something. Maybe it’s protecting you from experiencing something that brings up layers of fear. If that’s the case, it’s perfect because now you know where the work is. It’s not in getting the weight off, but working through that fear or belief about what that weight coming off means for you. Make sense?
Once you’ve identified how these feelings are showing up and impacting your daily life, you then have a choice. That choice is to let these feelings run you, or to make the decision to challenge them; you can discard the ones that no longer (and probably never did) serve you, and work through the ones that have been holding you back that you’re now ready to take on.
If you find you’re trying to change something and somehow sabotage those attempts, take a look at this TEDx talk – you may just find out why you’re doing that sneaky sabotage routine.
Photo from here, with thanks.