According to Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence and more, emotional intelligence is a trait not measured by IQ tests – it’s instead a set of skills, including control of one’s impulses, self-motivation, empathy and social competence in interpersonal relationships. He suggests that emotional intelligence is a better predictor of success in life than family, socioeconomic status and IQ.
So what does this mean and how can we use this information to help us personally and professionally?
Continue reading “Emotional Intelligence: A Mental/Emotional Muscle Worth Strengthening”
Welcome back to this blog series on rewiring the brain, neuroplasticity, resilience and more.
In the first of the series, we talked about the different ways our brain becomes conditioned and how we can begin to change it. In the second post, we talked about our protective “negativity bias” and the autonomic nervous system, which revs us up (the job of the sympathetic nervous system) or slows us down (the job of the parasympathetic nervous system).
In this post, we’ll dive in a little deeper into how our programming takes shape when we’re young. Continue reading “Attachment Styles and How They Show Up in Our Relationships”
According to Linda Graham, psychotherapist and author of Bouncing Back, resilience is: “The capacity to respond to pressures and tragedies quickly, adaptively and effectively.”
So why do we need to be resilient?
It’s inevitable that in our lifetimes, circumstances will come along that throw us off track. We can lose a job… or lose a loved one. We can argue with a coworker… or discover we’ve been betrayed at the deepest level by someone we trusted. We can be struggling with finances… or receive news that forever changes our lives in an instant. Continue reading “Rewire the Brain to Bounce Back from Setbacks Faster and Easier”
We are what we feel. If you feel overweight, unattractive or ill-equipped in some way, take a look at the way you dress, the way you carry yourself, what you do (or don’t do), and the relationships you have. Notice that what you are feeling shows itself in the clothes you choose, the opportunities you may be avoiding, and what you’re willing to tolerate in a coworker, friend or partner.
Where did these feelings come from and are they worth taking a look at?
Continue reading “What You Are Feeling is What We Are Seeing”
The words “yes” and “no” are extremely powerful words that carry strong feelings and emotions. These can even be life changing words. But these words are also the most misused words in our language today. Because of this, you may have what I call “yes and no confusion.” Here’s how to tell if you do and how to avoid misusing “yes” and “no.”
Starting and ending with the word “Yes”
Consider all of the times you’ve said yes to an extra task, project, activity, commitment or responsibility. Maybe you said yes when you were asked to stay late at work, help a friend complete a project, or take on a task you could have handed over to someone else.
Of course your intentions were honorable, but if you have ever said yes when you were already overscheduled, overextended and overwhelmed with what was on your plate, then you have misused the word.
You probably say yes for many reasons. Maybe you say it because:
- You want to feel part of the group or team
- You want to feel you are contributing, helping, giving
- You want to feel needed, necessary, valuable
- You believe it’s the right thing to do
- You believe it’s the only solution
- You think it’s being nice
Now, here’s something to think about. When you’re already overscheduled and overwhelmed, there’s a pretty good chance you’ve neglected your own self-care. With extra responsibilities, there’s no longer any time for your workout, planning a healthy meal, getting a haircut, that long overdue manicure, or that extra hour of sleep. Taking care of yourself gets pushed even further down on your list of priorities. Continue reading “Two Life Changing Words: How “Yes” and “No” are Misused”